Christmas has come and gone, and as soon as we get a moment to exhale, we realise another deadline is looming: New Year’s Day. And with it comes the chance to start over, reinvent ourselves.
Stop rolling your eyes! Okay, so last year you planned to lose weight, learn a new language, take up a hobby, find a man you deserve, stop buying so many shoes, and give up snacking on your nails. So what if your resolutions didn’t last as long as the last piece of fruitcake?
Take heart. Things can be different, if you take a more relaxed, one-day-at-a-time approach to creating ‘You 2011’. We asked New York-based Trini life coach, Narda Mohammed, to share her perspective on making changes in your life that will actually stick. First of all, remember you won’t get dragged off in handcuffs if you don’t make resolutions in January. “People feel most compelled to make changes at this time, as it represents a turning away of something old and coming into something new,” Mohammed says.
But it’s not as if they’re mandated by law. Make your resolutions on February 7 if you feel like, or Carnival Tuesday night. Or the first blue moon of the year. What matters is that you feel you’re ready. Second, this isn’t a high-jump competition. Don’t set the bar so high that you can’t realistically make it over. And while we’re on the subject of being realistic, be aware that you’re occasionally going to slip. When that happens, take it easy on yourself. Many times, we give up, turn around and head home the minute we come to a bump in the road, rather than figure out ways to climb over it or go around it. “People give up at the slightest sign of disappointment, without understanding that true, lasting change takes time and can be a exciting journey in itself,” Mohammed tells us.
“There will be hurdles or stumbling blocks along the way, but instead of taking them as a huge Stop sign, use them as an opportunity to expand, grow and develop into a stronger, more stable individual.”
Buddy up if you can, but be careful who you entrust with your dreams. Mohammed advises, “We don’t necessarily need the support of another to do anything we truly desire to do, but it would be lovely to have that support. Influence from others is healthy only if it’s positive.” Sometimes, resolutions should be like birthday wishes; they work better if you don’t speak them aloud. Remember that we tend to soak up what people say to us, and if they say it often enough, we begin to believe it. “The only reason negative input affects an outcome is we tend to believe this person’s opinion.”
So take criticism with a grain of salt. And you know how your guy, your mother, or your girlfriends are always hinting that you’d be a better person if only you’d change X, Y, or Z about yourself? Let ‘em talk, baby. Mohammed is dead set against the idea of changing for someone else. If you truly decide to change for yourself, however, may the wind be at your back. Good resolutions are like honey: sweet, sticky, and a little goes a long way. Mohammed advises keeping your goals small and simple. “Start with smaller goals that will eventually build up to the broader goal, instead of rushing ahead to the big goal. Break it down into smaller, more believable parts.” Finally, if you feel yourself slipping, relax and gather your thoughts. Revisit your goals, and recognise what caused you to slip away. Address it and learn as much as possible from it.
RESOLUTION NO-NOS
Mohammed shared with us a few of her Resolution Dos and Don’ts:
• Don’t set huge, unrealistic goals.
• Don’t go in with a blocked, limited mindset. Keep in mind it’s a journey, not a one-stop, quick-fix destination.
• When you begin on that exciting journey, don’t give up on the first or second sign of difficulty.
• Don’t compare yourself with someone else. Each person is different. Keep your focus on you.
YOU BETCHAS
• Visualise your ideal outcome. Start with the end destination in mind and hold that positive, joyous thought.
• Understand you hold in your hands the power to make this happen.
• Implement motivational tools such as affirmations; anything that works for you and resonates with you. Stick a note on your bedroom wall, refrigerator, and car anywhere that you frequent. Customise it to suit your situation and your preferred outcome.
• Continuously feed your mind with uplifting and motivational content. There are no excuses to not achieve; the only excuses you have are those you give yourself.
“If you think a thought long enough, you will believe it. In order to change your beliefs, you must change your thoughts.” Sounds easy enough, huh?
